1. How Do You Rate As a Writer?

When you go to see a doctor, the first thing he does is ask you to describe what is bothering you. He needs this informa­tion so that he can begin his diagnosis. I said begin because, after you get through talking, the competent medical man conducts his own examination. He must probe beyond the surface evidence. It wouldn't do to treat a stomach disorder if further study proved that the real trouble was something entirely different. For instance, emotional upset can produce aches and discomfort. Thus, after your doctor pokes around a bit, he may conclude that there is nothing physically wrong with you at all. What you left out of your story may turn out to be more important than what you put in.

Now, you and I know that your teacher cannot possibly give as much individual attention to your writing weaknesses as a doctor does to his patient's illnesses. As many as 35 students must be handled in the time it takes to give two people medical checkups. Obviously, a complete job is too much to expect from any teacher in the classroom alone. In most schools below the college level, individual conferences just can't be fitted into the heavy programs. In the average composition unit, there is barely enough time to assign a topic, collect the papers, criticize and mark them, return them, and go over a few with the group. As a result, your hidden writing faults may never be remedied unless you do something about them yourself.

At this stage of your school career you've had papers re­turned often enough for you to know by heart what your surface weaknesses are. They have doubtless long since fallen into a pattern that keeps repeating itself. But, as was sug­gested above, your being able to rattle off your list of usual errors is only the beginning of the diagnosis. Like the doctor, we want to get to the bottom of your total problem, what you leave out of a composition as well as what you put in. We will do that by letting you examine what other students have done and compare your efforts with theirs.

You will profit in another way from this procedure. It will enable you to consider your writing weaknesses from a prac­tical angle, too. How much are they costing you in marks? It is not uncommon for a student to be aware of his shortcom­ings and still not accept the justice of a particular grade, thus depriving himself of the incentive to improve. A few words about teacher ratings, therefore, seem to be in order at this point.

Here are some typical comments you hear whenever you get together with your friends to discuss the eternal mystery of marks:

"You know what he does. He throws the papers up in the air. Those that stick to the ceiling, pass. The rest fail."

"It's simple. Miss Ferguson weighs each report. One pound —A, half a pound—B, my two ounces—F."

"What do you expect? If I were a blond, and pretty, I'd get a 90."

You don't really believe what you hear, but behind it all is an honest puzzlement. And from time to time, usually in self-defense, disturbing questions come to your mind. Why don't all teachers mark the same way? Why did my compo­sition get a 7, and George's a 72? What did he do for the half point? On that exam question, I got 23 out of 30. Why not 24 or 22?

As we go along here you will find the answers to your questions. You are entitled to know how writing standards are translated into grades. It is the most concrete way of impressing upon you how much weight is given the various parts of a composition.

Don't misunderstand. A mark is certainly not your ultimate objective, although it may well seem that way while you are attending school. In general, you want to write better, now and for good. That's the main idea. But an explanation of why you did not get an extra point or two not only will put your mistakes into proper focus but will provide a clearer picture of what is missing from your work. For example, it can help you understand why a paper with no technical errors may be rated fair rather than good or excellent.

As a rule, the system operates like this. For students in the early years in high school, teachers give more credit to form (sentence structure, paragraph unity, organization, grammati­cal correctness, etc.) than they do to content (ideas, lan­guage variety, interest, ingenuity, etc.). The ratio usually is 60% for form and 40% for content.

A high school freshman who writes a very interesting piece full of all kinds of careless errors may be disappointed when he gets an F or a 60%. The material sounded so good to him! Because it did to the teacher, too, she gave the composition 35 out of 40 for the content and less than half of 60 for the form, hence the failing mark.

In the upper grades the percentages are often reversed. A senior who hands in a flawless paper, but one which shows no originality or animation, may get only a 70% or C―a full 60 for form and only 10 for content. Had the composition con­tained at least one or two interesting sentences, it might have received 5 more points. This explains a 75 as against a 70.

It works the same way with examination answers. If 30 credits have been assigned to the question, the teacher first arrives at the percentage mark as outlined above, and then converts it into points. Thus a 70% will equal 21 (70% of 30), an 85% will be either 25 or 26 (85% of 30), depending upon whether the marker thinks the answer is worth maximum or minimum credits within the range.

We come, now to another of your queries. Why don't all teachers mark alike? It's true that occasionally one instructor may give 60% to a paper that another may value at 90%. Rest assured, however, that this situation does not arise as often as popular legend would have you believe. In my experience, competent teachers almost invariably reach similar judgments about the quality of a student's work, differing no more than a few percentage points at most. The best proof that marks are based upon universally accepted standards can be found in a review of the over-all record of any student. If he has been getting 70's, and makes no honest effort to improve, he will continue to receive 70's no matter who his teachers are.

So much for marking systems. Before we get to our com­plete diagnosis, I want to say something about the samples of writing we are going to use throughout the book to make points clear. Most will be taken from papers actually pro­duced by high school students. There is not much logic in showing you the work of professionals, except as occasional proof that certain techniques are used by all good writers. Nothing is more frustrating than to be asked to duplicate something that can be achieved by very few among us, or which we have no desire to attempt even if we could. If you can learn to do as well as some people who are no older or more experienced than you are, you will be doing better than most.

Now let's get to the samples. They have been taken from a recent state examination in English that was administered to about 75,000 high school seniors. The papers were marked in committee, and at least two teachers had a hand in the final grading of any one composition. Usually there were a first reading and marking, a second by someone else as a check, and a third or fourth review, if necessary. You can assume, then, that the grades are as close to being standard for any school in the country as it is possible to get them.

You have two objectives in studying the models and the comments made on them. One is to analyze why one com­position was rated higher than another. The other is to determine how much your weaknesses are costing you and what you can do to upgrade your own work.

"Shadows" is the subject or topic of each of the composi­tions selected for this diagnosis. Although there were four­teen other titles available to the students, I am sure you will agree that the differences in quality will stand out more sharply if you can see how well each one performed while facing the same problems. Read every sample through as a whole first. Then go back over it as you study the comments. You may be disappointed in some of the models and wonder how they got as much credit as they did. Remember what we said about marks. Teachers try to be objective and fair. If they looked for perfection, very few students would pass.

The numbers to the right of the paragraphs will be used as a means of referring to individual paragraphs when they are discussed in the "Comments" that follow each selection.

I. EXCELLENT COMPOSITIONS

(Ratings: A or 90-100%) (Credits: 27-29 out of 30)

Sample #1

The child is in bed, awake, frightened by the howl­ing wind and the shadows dancing on his walls. His toy animals seem enormous as they are magnified on the ceiling by the dim light outside the room. His clothes, laid carelessly on a chair, also throw off peculiar shad­ows. He sees witches and goblins, dragons and giants. The child is afraid of what he sees. I would not be afraid.

The young woman hurries along, alone in the dark. The only light is a dim street lamp. The buildings all around her seem huge and horrible, their shadows fill her with fear. Even her own slim shadow frightens her. She imagines terrible things and begins to run. The only sound is the noise of her heels tapping on the sidewalk. She is afraid of what she sees and ofwhat she doesn't see. I would not be afraid.

The soldier waits anxiously at the door. Through the window shades he can see the figures of a man and a woman, with their heads bent as it they were whispering. It is difficult to determine to whom the shadows belong. He prays that his sweetheart has not found someone new during his long absence. He hesitates before ringing the bell. He fears what he sees. I would not be afraid.

í would not fear the shadows on the walls. They would be my friends. I would watch them dance and dance with them. O, what beautiful shadows I would see.

1 would not fear walking in the dark and seeing the shadows of tall buildings. The buildings protect me and keep me warm. They would be friendly shadows.

I would not fear seeing the shadows of two people through a window. They are my friends waiting for me. They would be happy shadows.

Í would not fear shadows. I pray for them instead. I would love to see a shadow, any shadow, big or small, for just a moment. I am blind.

Comments on Sample #1

√ Form: Strictly speaking, there is no formal opening para­graph, but writers often start in medias res, in the midst of things, if they wish to develop a special effect, and it is clear that such is the purpose here the first time you read "I would not be afraid." The absence of a regular beginning paragraph under the circumstances is perfectly legitimate. Certainly interest is created and the contents of the rest of the composition are indicated.

Paragraphs 2 and 3 logically develop the main idea. Each is a tight unit, with a very good topic sentence, internal unity, and a provocative closing.

In Paragraphs 4, 5, and 6, the author re-emphasizes her splendid organization by briefly half-summarizing and half-projecting her attitude with its note of mystery.

The main idea is skillfully brought back into focus in Paragraph 7 as the conclusion is reached.

With the exception of one questionable point, the material is technically excellent. The comma at "horrible, their shad­ows" (Paragraph 2) should be a semicolon or a period. This may not have been a mistake since a writer of this caliber may have used the comma deliberately for some reason not clear to me. Punctuation and usage are above reproach.

√ Content: The writer has intelligently narrowed the scope of the rather vague topic down to a few sharply etched pic­tures and has given her imagination full sway. There is fine originality displayed at the very beginning, and the reader is immediately intrigued by what seems to be an odd emotional twist.

The body of the composition continues to build up toward a climax in mature and colorful fashion. The deliberate repe­tition of "shadows, fear, afraid," rather than detracting from interest as it often does, adds to the heightened effect, much like a background of beating drums. The language is superior throughout. "Enormous, magnified, peculiar, dragons, gob­lins, dim, huge, tapping, anxiously, whispering, warm, friend­ly" are relatively simple words but ones that make the differ­ence between dullness and interest or color. The bright, sensitive personality of the writer shines through the words, and we marvel at her inventiveness. Perhaps the one weak­ness is found in Paragraph 3. In the first two the author is talking about experiences that she has lived through, where­as, judging from the somewhat formal description of the lover, it would seem that this scene had not stemmed from personal emotional episodes.

Paragraph 7, of course, is a gem. It effectively solves the puzzle introduced early and leaves nothing else to say.

The sentences are varied in length and expertly formed. The paragraphs show good use of comparison, contrast, and detail in their development. You can understand why this composition received 29.

Sample #2

If there is one thing in my early childhood that caused me endless suffering and unrelinquished fear, it was the threat of seeing unidentified shadows in the middle of 1 the night. About 8:oo p.m. was the middle of the night for me during those tender years.

The most frightening shadow that haunted me in those days was the one I was sure belonged to a little green man who hid under the bed every night. I was positive this tiny ogre was going to stick his hand out and grab my foot while I was sleeping, thereby carrying me to the depths of Hades. Fortunately, he never ac­complished this feat.

A most horrible experience which usually occurred ev­ery night was when í awoke from a nightmare to find my entire room a mass of winding shadows. For two or three hours I would not move an inch, fearing I would give away my presence to these demons who would not hesi­tate to pounce upon me and chop me up into little pieces, which they might preserve in cans. But 1 finally built up enough courage to nick on the light, which re­vealed the monstrous shadows to be nothing more than my old friends, Mr. Chair, Mr. Sofa, and Mr. Lamp. What a relief.

The last of the shadows was the one which confronted me after every story book reading my mother gave me on Monday and Thursday. I would fall asleep happily, not realizing the horrible dream about to make itself known to me. Waking up (I didn't actually wake up; this was part of the dream), I saw to my complete horror shadows creeping across the living room window in the forms of Humpty Dumpty, Mother Goose, and the Big Bad Wolf. Gads, what a scare!

So, as you can see, shadows played a prominent part in my growing up. Although í was afraid when I first had these hallucinations, I can now laughingly joke about them in my nightly conversations with the green ogre, the shadowy demons, and Humpty Dumpty. Actually, there not bad fellows at all!

Comments on Sample #2

√ Form: Here we have the regular type of introduction that promptly establishes the main idea to be discussed in the body, supplies the background from which the thoughts will emanate, and sets the general tone.

Paragraphs 2, 3, and 4 present neat little pictures of the writer's experiences. Here, too, each is a well-developed unit, with its topic sentence, a few related sentences, and an inter­esting closing.

The conclusion (Paragraph 5) ties everything together and leaves the reader with something to chuckle about as well. Organization throughout is very good.

There are more technical errors in this one than in Sample #1. In Paragraph 1, "there is" should read "there was"; in Paragraph 3, "which" and "was" should be eliminated from the first sentence, and the last one should read "But I would finally build up . . ."; in Paragraph 4, the tense of "saw" should be "would see" (third sentence); and at the very end, "there" should be "they're," of course.

√ Content: The introduction, although relatively standard, nonetheless gets to the heart of the main idea with a mini­mum of words and succeeds in giving the reader a glimpse of the writer's sense of humor.

The middle paragraphs give just enough examples, de­scribed with wit and detail, to indicate exactly how the au­thor felt when he was a youngster. Language use is generally superior, even if wiser choices could have been made for "unrelinquished" (Paragraph 1) and "accomplished this feat" (Paragraph 2). The writer's personality comes through read­ily, particularly by virtue of his charming personalization of objects and his obvious hints that he is not to be taken seriously.

The ending brings the composition nicely to an appropri­ate conclusion. The novel note suggested in the final sen­tence enhances the writer's efforts to keep the material on a light level.

The sentences are varied and formed with technical ma­turity. The paragraphs show a facility for vivid description and graceful phrasing. This piece of work received a 27.

The lower rating was dictated by the more frequent errors in construction and the relative absence of ingenuity. In gen­eral, however, this was a first rate composition.

II. GOOD COMPOSITIONS

(Ratings: B or 80-89%) (Credits: 24-26 out of 30)

Sample #3

The shadows of the past constantly haunt me. As I lie awake at night, my deeds reappear and mock me. Like Scrooge who viewed his past cruelties and mistakes, I can relive the past. How frustrating it is, to watch hut not to be able to act.

The poet once stated, "Saddest axe the words, 'It might have been!' " How true this line is. My life might have been completely different if I had had the knowl­edge and experience í now possess. í realize now there were far wiser solutions for my problems than the ones Í chose. More important, though, is the time I wasted, if only I had spent this time studying and pursuing various fields of learning, I might have been more suc­cessful in my later endeavors. But "Youth is wasted on youth."

Then there are the people I took advantage of, and thus hurt. Why was Í so selfish? The words I could have spoken which might have comforted others haunt me. More annoying are the words I never should have spoken. Why was I so rash? But these lamentations are senseless and can not remedy past blunders.

The shadows are not all dark and unpleasant. There are happy memories too. How nice it is to remember these past joys. But as Keats wrote, "Melodies heard are sweet, but those unheard, far sweeter." I know there are greater joys to be experienced in the future.

Both the good and the bad aspects of my past are now a part of me. The good to provide a pleasant respite; and the bad to prevent my duplicating former mistakes. I must live in the present and look forward to the future. This is the only mature and realistic attitude I can take. The shadows of the past are not forgotten, but are incorporated in that broad classification—"experience!"

Comments on Sample #3

√ Form: Paragraph 1 does its job of creating interest and suggesting the direction of the composition.

In the middle paragraphs, it is clear that the writer at­tempted to organize her thoughts into three aspects of her main idea, and the final paragraph does attempt to summa­rize and predict.

With the exception of one sentence fragment, "The good to provide . . ." (Paragraph 5), technical errors are kept to a minimum.

√ Content: This is a good example of a composition that is written with structural skill and correctness, but fails chiefly because of the content to merit an excellent rating. Para­graph 1, although it performs its proper task, is marred by needless repetition, both of the "haunting" concept and the word "past." You will recall how deliberate repetition in Sample #1 was very effective, but here no special effect is being attempted.

Paragraphs 2, 3, and 4 have the same defects: generalities and hints but no specific details that would have made the ideas much more meaningful. Not once is an actual incident described to support the questions raised by the writer.

The conclusion seems to be somewhat contradictory. Both indifference to and concern about the past are simultaneously expressed, although the writer does succeed in stressing the need for profiting from experience.

There is good variation in sentence structure, but the paragraphs are underdeveloped, largely because of the ab­sence of supporting examples. One should not use quotation marks unless the statement ascribed to an author has been accurately duplicated. Moreover, excessive use of this device can be as disturbing as needless repetition.

All that has been said so far amounts to quite a bit of ad­verse criticism. And yet the composition was rated good for valid reasons. Positive factors are the correctness of expression, the good organization, the attempt to introduce novelty through the quotations, and the sincerity of the mood. Thus the official mark of 26 out of 30 is reasonable. You can see how just a few more sentences of the right kind in the right places might have turned this paper into a superior piece of work.

Sample #4

He awoke that morning with the sun shining through his windows, casting a shadow behind him. He washed and dressed and then entered the bustling sheets of the city. The sun cast shadows all around, tall buildings, high towers, large flag poles, small, insignificant people all had shadows.

The door in his office cast a shadow on the floor. Trees in the park, outside his office window, cast shadows on the building, and the birds in night left a momentary shadow on the beds of grass. Nurses with baby car­riages cast pleasant shadows, dogs on leashes cast impos­ing and striking shadows. Trucks and big-finned Cadil­lacs cast their ominous shadows upon the streets of the city. He left his office for the day, casting a hazy shadow brought on by the twilight. The dim lights of the swank restaurant left his lean shadow on the wall. His grand bouquet complete, he entered the street, to meet her. Their shadows were hazy for it grew dark as they en­tered the club. The shadow of the couple drinking and dancing was warm and meaningful. As they left, their dim shadow entered his big limousine. The shadow moved quickly as the lights from the lampposts followed them. The shadows grew passionate. The evening was coming to an end, and one could almost sense the com­ing of the morning's shadows with the rising sun.

But for him, there were no longer any shadows. They had all cleared up, and neither the strongest ray of light from the sun nor the brightest light could cast a shadow upon him. Death had come. She closed the apartment door and tossed the knife into her pocketbook. Her shadow was a very morbid one, one which would tear at her conscience, and follow her the rest of her life.

Comment on Sample #4

√ Form: The introduction is sharp, incisive, and effective. There are, however, serious paragraph weaknesses in the body of the composition. Paragraph 2 should have been broken up into at least four units: the office scene, the de­parture for the date, the activities in the club, and the limou­sine episode. The conclusion is technically satisfactory.

Semicolons should have been used in the last sentence of Paragraph 1, and a period should have been placed between "pleasant shadows" and "dogs on leashes" (Paragraph 2). In the same paragraph, a comma is needed after "Their shadows were hazy . . ."

√ Content: The writer took a very interesting approach to the topic. He shows flashes of brilliance in phrasing and lan­guage usage. Good examples of the latter are "bustling streets," "momentary shadow on the beds of grass," "big-finned Cadillacs," and 'lean shadow on the wall." The word "cast" is used too often.

The body of the composition is developed vividly and with splendid detail. The writer displays a maturity and in­tensity that are commendable.

Unfortunately, the whole idea is weakened at the end. The insertion of a melodramatic note without any basis dis­rupts the mood and seems to indicate that the writer used this device because he could think of no better way to finish than to copy a routine television script.

Because of the inadequacies in organization, paragraph structure, and logical development, this composition falls short of an excellent rating, regrettably so because the po­tential for superior writing is there. The 26 out of 30 is about right as the mark.

III. AVERAGE COMPOSITIONS

(Ratings: C or 70-79%) (Credits: 21-23 out of 30)

Sample #5

Shadows can bring on different feelings at different times. For example, if you have ever walked down a lone­ly road or street late at night, and sudenly you have seen a shadow coming from an ally, you may become a little nervous and approach the ally with caution. What a re­lief it is when you get by the ally and see that the shadow is one of a pole or something like that. Another type shadow is when your lying in bed, looking up at the ceil­ing, and watching the shadows of the cars passing your window. This is a good way for you to fall asleep, at least its a change from counting sheep.

Then also there is a good use for shadows. This use is that of telling time. For many years that was one of the chief methods of telling time. Then, also, how many times have you seen a good western in which the indians are holding hostages, and the chief rides up to the tort, sticks his lance in the ground and says "When the shadow of the lance is three quarters around, from where it now is, the hostages will die, unless you return my son to me." This leads to a big comotion at the fort, and wouldn't you know it, some cowboy rescues the hostages before the shadow gets half way around the lance.

Then there is the time children start playing with their shadows, by seeing how long they can make them, or how short, or even if they can beat their shadows to the door of their home.

This is how shadows bring on different feelings and emotions to different people at different times. This also gives a few uses the shadow play's in life.

Comment on Sample #5

√ Form: This composition is rather poorly organized. The introduction becomes confused with the body in Paragraph 1, in Paragraph 2 the content starts off in one direction and winds up in another, Paragraph 3 is underdeveloped, and the conclusion is a bald statement of what has presumably preceded. There is a tendency toward overlong sentences, which inevitably leads toward run-on errors, an example of which is the last sentence in Paragraph 1.

There are numerous spelling errors: "sudenly, ally, its, your, indians, comotion, play's." However, punctuation is generally good and many difficult words are spelled cor­rectly, so we can attribute most of the technical mistakes to carelessness.

√ Content: The beginning and ending paragraphs show no originality and are poorly defined. Paragraphs 2 and 3 lack unity and emphasis.

On the favorable side are the student's efforts to introduce wit and emotional tone in the material; his imaginative lan­guage use in phrases like "a change from counting sheep, holding hostages, lance in the ground, beat their shadows to the door"; and his use of a pattern in developing his ideas, even if it doesn't quite come off. With a strong determina­tion to observe the mechanics of composition more care­fully, the writer could produce quite acceptable work. This is so true of the average student and explains why the rating was 21 out of 30, or just a little better than the minimum passing mark. Notice how close this paper is to either out­right failure or above average success.

Sample #6

One night I was awakened with a start. There on the wall behind my bed was a climbing object. At first í thought it was a five headed monster, but that was impossible. Or was it? What could it be, I thought, my heart in my mouth, as I began sinking silently under the covers. Suddenly I raised my eyes toward the cieling and I saw it. A large chandelier was swinging lazily from it's braket and casting it’s monsterous shadow across my bed. ''Oh what a relief," I exclaimed, as I fell calmly back into the arms of slumber.

This is a very common experience. Others tell of similai ones, such as hearing fire engines on a dark moonless night and looking up to find that the curtins and blan­kets make shadows on the wall that are very similar to black smoke. Another similar experience would be coming home on a cold cloudy night and imagining that you see the shadows of someone following you. These are all common occurances. They have happened to almost any­body at some time or other.

Shadows are only the playing of lights on objects in a dark place. They may be harmless in themselves, but they are very frightening. They can also be used in con­structive ways. One way they are used to amuse children is by a person, working his fingers behind a screen or in front of a flashlight, so that the people watching think that there are animals or other objects. Along with these uses are pantemime or making pictures by standing behind a screen with a light shining on it The result of this is called a silluette. Even if they do have some constructive uses when seeing a figure in dark, gloomy, terrifying surroundings we just want to run and get away from it, whatever it is.

Comments on Sample #6

√ Form: Once again we have a composition marred by poor organization. In this instance, a promising beginning de­teriorates into a loosely developed body paragraph and a closing that should more properly have been worked into a few middle paragraphs. Only the last sentence suggests what the writer had in mind about her conclusion. Although the sentences are complete and varied, they are often awkwardly constructed, the worst example of which is in Paragraph 3: "One way they are used to amuse children . . ."

Spelling is poor: "cieling, it's, monsterous, curtins, occur­ances, braket, pantemime, silluette." Incidentally, some schools that maintain very high standards would have failed Sam­ples #5 and #6 on spelling alone, regardless of how promis­ing the material was. Perhaps the only reason these composi­tions were given passing grades was that they were typical of the average. If you stop to think about it, the average student's spelling is shockingly bad, isn't it?

√ Content: We could repeat here what we said about Sam­ple #5. The paragraphs are undefined, lack unity, and are improperly developed. However, there is an occasional good phrase and, despite the spelling, the writer shows fair lan­guage power, especially in the better than average vocabu­lary use. On a comparative basis, then, we cannot quarrel with the average mark this paper received.

IV. BORDERLINE COMPOSITIONS

(Rating: D or 65%) (Credits: 20 out of 30)

In each of the next two categories, only one sample will be offered. As you observed in the average ones, the unsatis­factory aspects begin to repeat themselves as the quality goes down. Accordingly, what is true of Samples #7 and #8 is true of a thousand other papers that fall into the same classi­fication. The borderline type is usually given the lowest pass­ing grade because the writer shows some good qualities and leaves some hope for improving himself to the point where his work will be at least average. The failing grade indicates a need for a complete overhauling of the writer's understand­ing and employment of basic principles. Comments will be brief since many of the failings will be easily recognizable because of what has already been said about the previous samples.

Sample #7

Shadows are funny things they can be the most fright­ening thing in the world at one minute, and something for a child to play with the next.

Did you ever see a boy or girl play with there shadows? Then try to catch there heads with there feet or race there shadows down the block. I've seen them stand a play with there shadows for hours.

Sometimes shadows can be very frightening. Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night and see some weird looking shadows around the room. They are just shadows of the things in the room but you get scared anyway. Everybody is frightened by a weird shadow at one time or another.

Shadows are sometimes so frightening that people use them for things other than amusement. I heard of a man who used the setup of the furniture in a room in his home, and the way the light of the moon hit the wall, to create a perfect murder. The person he was trying to murder had a bad heart. If he was awakened in the middle of the night by weird noises and there is the shadow, he would very likely have a heart attack.

Shadows are weird things. All they are is the reflextion of light on a wall or floor, etc. But they create many dif­ferent moods, the excitement of children when playing with there shadows, the horror of somebody waking up and seeing frightening shadows on the wall, the amuse­ment you get when the next morning you realize it was only the aim chair.

Shadows have different effects on different people at different times. Have you seen any real good shadows lately?

Comments on Sample #7

You can see that there is a fair grasp of what organization means and a certain ease with the language. It is these two factors that leave hope for the writer, plus the fact that many of his bad spelling and sentence errors are the products of gross carelessness, as can be observed in his spelling "frighten" correctly at one time and incorrectly at another on the same paper. Many teachers would be inclined to fail this paper. When it gets down to a point or two making the dif­ference, it would not be inconsistent if the mark went either way.

V. FAILING COMPOSITION

(Rating: F or below 60%) (Points: 18 or less out of 30)

Sample #8

Gee Mom!" here it's Sunday afternoon already and I have to read fifty pages of Ethan Frome for Monday." "I guess I will Jay in bed and read Mother. "But Martin  every time you do that you fall asleep." my Mother. Said. Not this time Mother.

Oh this book is so dull and I rather think abouts lasts nights date to the movies with Marsha. But I am getting so tired, I think I will close my eyes.

"Good night," Marsha, . I will call you during the week. It's very dark tonight, I better hurry home after that double feature I am very tired.

Who's who just came out of the alley that I passed. He looks very large from the reflection of the street light. I better walk a little faster, just in case. Now he is also walking a little faster to, I better start running, but he is also running. What shall I do? Shall I keep walking or stop, Yes that is what I shall do stop. But now he is putting his hand around my neck.

No! No! Stop Please stop, You are killing me. Wake up, Martin, wake up, called my mother. Where am I, I called, in your own bed my mother answered. And no man killed me last night. Of course not I drove both you and Marsha to the movies and drove you home my­self. Do you mean I was dreaming all this up. That right, Martin, you fell asleep reading Ethan Frome.

Comment on Sample #8

There are over 50 technical errors in this composition, so the less said about them, the better. The dream sequence is the eternal novelty to students who will not use their imagina­tion to be original, and the writer's use of this age-old device shows what little thinking he did before beginning his com­position. About the only redeeming feature is the presence of some concept of organization and paragraph structure. But the incredible carelessness is what makes teachers' hair turn gray. No one can help this young man until he makes up his mind that he must rid himself of his complete indifference to the most elementary principles of correctness of expression. The rating of 16 out of 30 was more than generous.

You have completed the analysis of eight compositions written with varying degrees of skill. Probably one of them reminded you strongly of the kind of writing you generally produce. It is also likely that the comments on the samples helped you establish more firmly in your mind the importance of what the writers failed to do, what they left out, as well as what they put in. It should not be too difficult for you to de­termine your own rating as a writer at this moment. I am not referring to the grades you have been getting. That kind of evaluation of your skill has been done for you quite legiti­mately by your teachers, as was suggested before. I am refer­ring to your "plus and minus" rating—the techniques you should continue to use because they are good, the ones you should learn how to use because they will help you improve your compositions, and the ones you should eliminate be­cause they interfere with your progress.

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